What’s on my mind:
The distinction between extroverts and introverts. There is something to be said for categorizing someone into one of these categories, when mixtures definitely exist. I would know because I am one.
I’m what is known as an outgoing introvert. I like to be around people and have that social component in my life, but I prefer to recharge by myself. I have put together some indicators that you might be similar, and these could help you learn about yourself. Knowing your own personality helps when interacting with contrasting personality types.
You have a high level of self-awareness, and you are not shy, just simply naturally introverted. Shyness and introversion differ because shyness is considered a behavior, versus introversion is more of a choice as well as a preference. In other words, you choose when you wish to interact and when you’d rather observe. This really doesn’t have a correlation with being shy.
You find yourself actually penciling in (or making a mental note) to set aside time for yourself. You mental well-being requires this alone time, in order to have the energy and desire to then go forward with social interaction.
Do you love to go to coffee shops alone to work? Me too. I love to be surrounded by people in a coffee shop but left alone to do my work or write my posts. I like having the energy around me and complete control to either engage or not. (insert the “but first, coffee” ongoing trending phrase)
You can confuse others about this mixture of social identities. Sometimes people just assume you’re very extroverted given your approachable nature when you choose to be. When you switch back and forth from your more introverted self, people can be confused by the variation.
You are a fan of inner monologue. Or maybe you are not a fan, but you do this constantly anyway. Outgoing introverts tend to re-play conversations and even lay out future ones, which can lead to over-thinking. Being very thoughtful in this sense is important, but sometimes can be perceived as overdoing it.
You do (maybe not often) experience loneliness. This one I’ll chip in on. I personally like to be independent a good majority of the time. I played a college sport that was 90% mental, and is known as an individual sport. I like to blog, write, and even sketch, all activities being solo activities. I often find it hard relating to people in terms of how we prefer to spend our time, so this narrows down that interaction even more. Then again, I’m working two jobs that I constantly interact and have fun with my coworkers. I make sure to have this balance.
Now onto relationships. Again, personally, people I have been interested in the past all say something very similar: they have a hard time reading me. I apologize for not being predictable, it’s just not in my nature (although I never apologized for being hard to read). If a person takes more time to discover the layers, is this really a bad thing? I think not. There’s a reason why people love the mystery behind movie plotlines.
As for social engagements, outgoing introverts can be very personable and talkative in these settings, but also be completely drained afterwards. This speaks to me, for I really need to be alone after a lot of social energy, just to have the silence for a while. Word of advice: don’t break this silence, it’s crucial.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I believe extraversion and “teamwork” are somewhat overplayed in the workplace. We are taught in school to put up with group projects to prepare ourselves for our careers, which makes sense, but there is a reason why we dread them. I completely agree that collaboration is essential for a functioning organization or company, but some personalities gain their creativity and innovative ideas when working independently.
I wish I knew this about myself in high school, but outgoing introverts tend to somewhat dislike rights of passages. A really good example would be the senior prom. I remember there was so much buildup it actually made the event less fun, and it was this huge right of passage that everyone needed to take part in. I’m not saying my prom experience wasn’t good, but it was the principle of it being the “right” way to go out with a bang.
Outgoing introverts pick and choose pretty specifically. I’m specific about friends as well as social events. If I don’t want to hang out with someone I won’t. If all of my friends tell me an event is a must, I won’t attend if I know I’d be dissatisfied. I know myself in that sense. The negative reaction I often get from this is people taking it personally, that I’m withdrawing too much and put myself on a higher wavelength. This is definitely not the case, and the sad thing is if someone were to ask me instead of assume, there would be no hard feelings.
Us individuals also tend to thrive on improvement and progression. Getting “stuck” is not appealing, and the perfectionist behavior comes out in order to move forward. Seeking inner growth is also common, along with the occasional overanalyzing.
Lastly, the work and social life of an outgoing introvert may portray different personalities. By this I mean that these individuals, including myself, are outgoing and good at networking in the work life, and even enjoy being in control and communicating, but the social life may be a lot quieter. For me, I don’t like doing things in big groups. I like to hang out with one or two people, maybe three. If it’s a large group I feel less and less inclined to talk. Again, if someone you know tends to skip larger group hangouts, they might just not prefer them.
I hope this cleared up some explanations for those who have tried to understand the outgoing introverts, and for those that fall in this category. In truth, there’s nothing wrong with categorizing someone in order to better understand and interact with them.
Do these traits seem to match you? Let me know what you all think about my take on this, or your opinion of personality types. Do you find it useful to know someone’s personality type in the everyday? Feel free to comment below.
Thanks for reading! xx